The Grind

So I recently got a job and have begun to understand what the daily grind truly is.  Although my job is early enough in the morning that I can have a life it is still quite amusing to jest at those around me who clearly have been doing this for too long.  Some of them realize it and others do not.  I feel that some of them are too bright to be doing what they are doing and for some reason are just content with what they do.  I feel as though this will be a stepping stone in my life towards a greater goal.  Meet some interesting people along the way and learn some life lessons, but in the long run I don't know if the corporate world will be for me.  I am a person that likes to develop standing relationships, and at work I do not know if past little conversations with my coworkers will stand as long term relationships.  I am looking for something that is more intertwined with the work I am doing.  Such as a controller.  Now it seems like it is just the act of working my way to that point so that work no longer feels like work.  There is not much else to add this thing that I call work.  Just living the dream and getting through life one step at a time. Gotta stalk what you love before you decide to pounce.  Find the job of prey and get it.  Just takes patience and determination.

So I saw a herd of buffalo running off a cliff...

So as of recently I have realized that I have sort of an elitist complex.  As to say I thrive to be the best at anything that I do due to competitive nature, but also I tend to get pissed at other people for not being nearly as good as I am, or if they are, for the stupid mistakes that they make.  I realize this is somewhat ridiculous, but I am constantly frustrated with mediocrity and frustrated with the idiocy that I constantly run into.  This tends to be more in the lines of video games than anything else, but idiots in the world find a true way to my rage box so to speak.

What could I possibly do about this?  Well there is a certain extent in some games where I can literally just destroy everybody and this complex does not plague me because I no longer need to rely on teammates in what is considered a "team" game so to speak.  League of Legends is one of these games, but I do have a set of individuals that can keep pace, its just the remainder that we get who cant seem to tell the difference between an ap and an ad character that make me go nuts... (lookin' at you ad brand)  Either way I guess this is more of a vent of frustration and a realization of something that I have already known for a while but didnt realize the exact way of puting it.

Im an elitist.  If you are a learner I do not shun you if you admit it... I try and help if anything.  But if your acting like a dumbass piece of shit.  Please proceed to the left and promptly get the fuck out of my life, cause I am sick of you and frankly could not give a damn what you have to say.  You are probably ignorant of all your mistakes and do nothing to fix them.  Also, if you see me doing something wrong or stupid, point it out.  I look at things very strategically and critically when I do things.  If you offer a judgement on something that I have done I will do a series of mental checks to see if what I did was wrong and either offer a rebuttal in a not so intelligent manner or I will take your criticism and run with it.  Once again, for all you fuckfaced pieces of shit... Door is on the left.

I guess this has really been sparked recently out of me for some reason.  I guess the impending release of the new counter-strike has really started to get me back into the drivers seat of the competitive car and I am almost flooring it in 5th.

Well I have drifted from my initial point of me being an elitist.  Not hard to see that I am competitive and this most likely sprang from that, but I guess what I am saying is.  Just be more than mediocre.  Be more than the average joe, and please don't follow the rest of the buffalo off the cliff, cause I promise you it isn't gonna be pretty when you go off the edge of the cliff with the rest of the morons of society.  Separate from the herd and join the pack.

This alpha is out and about, you omega better watch out, a man on a mission, don't dare think of a collision, cause I guarantee I will bust you up...

Howlin' at a Full Moon

So what do I find myself doing late at night?  Nothing in particular, as a matter of fact I am writing this blog as the time ticks by.  But why am I writing a late night blog, why should anybody care?  Well nobody should if they really don't want to cause if they don't care I don't care that they don't care...  But I digress.  Sleep always seems to evade me.  I never really care to sleep all that much.  Even when I find myself exhausted I find there are not enough hours in the day to be productive if I so desire to do so.  It always leaves me thinking that if there were places open late enough for me to be productive what I could and would do.  There are unfortunately not enough of these places, and by these places I do not mean bars.  I am talking about all night gyms or something of the sort.  This is just turning into rambling but I guess that is what most of my posts turn into.  I am not tired, I am really never tired.  I yawn I act tired, but its all an act of things I have really and truly been taught to do.  I should just accept the fact that I should set an alarm and allow myself 4 hours of sleep each night as forced and then move on with my life and become stupidly productive.  We will see what happens in the future, but this is more just spitballing than anything else.  Thoughts lemme know, if you think I am just an idiot go wild say what you want to its a free world.  Not sure if its insomnia paranoia or anything of that sort.  Who knows what is going on, just know that I am sick of half of this act.  Need more time to function and more things to do.  Guess the days are gonna start turning crazy and I am going to go balls to the wall with the whole get faster and get stronger thing so that I can get my best shot at professional soccer.  Until next time.  Keep that tail waggin'

P.S.  Looks like a full moon tonight, though I am not sure if it is.  Get that urge to howl now and again... Guess I am just that dang crazy :P

Aeria Gloris...

Sitting in my house, thinking of all those that cannot be doing the exact same.  I understand the purpose of real fires, but sometimes it just gets outa hand.  Seeing these 9-10 wildfires all over my home state and seeing these huge clouds is just frustrating.  Mother nature seems pissed.  For reasons beyond me she is retaking what is hers in a most ferocious manner.  Television was constantly on the news channel watching pictures and live footage of fires climbing mountains and burning homes.  Sit in awe.  Stroke my tail and wonder about life more and more.  There are many reasons I constantly occupy myself with menial tasks.  I know that when I do not it leads me to think about things that are so beyond most people that I just cannot talk to most of them about it at all.  What more can a person do.  Just live, tell my tail.... tale... and strive to surpass anything that anyone ever thought possible.

Google Colorado wildfires... go to images.... really... you will understand

Also constantly listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8q8rBnuULY0 currently.  Just such a badass opening song that makes me want to go do something extreme or breakthrough in something unimaginable.  Push the limits, live up to your potential, never become content, and just do what you love.  Straight from the muzzle...

P.S.  Go play the online game QWOP and make yourself feel stupid for a little bit...

A relatively furry feeling

Ears twitch... Heard something unusual.... Nose scrunches up... smells funny.

O wait!  That was because I was in Japan the last week and a half.  Good times... goooooood times.  Few issues while we were there, but overall a great time and a great atmosphere.  Really and truly a furry can feel at home in Japan.  Got a furry manga, saw some furry hentai, even ate an omelet with a furry on it.  Check one for the winning book for that trip.  What more was better.  Despite the arguments that we had once in a while, I got to go there with my brother.  Doesn't get much better than that.  I got a serious beef to pick with apple tho.  Gotta get your product right or some day something or someone is gonna bite you in the butt.

So my Japan trip took me to 3 places.  Fukuoka, Kyoto, and Tokyo.  Fukuoka was a new experience for me.  Much different than Kyoto and Tokyo, but overall it was a great place.  Saw some huge malls some good arcades, and met some old friends.  Even had a matrix moment while walking through Shibuya.  I really can't go into detail on things because it would probably take me several pages and I am not currently in the mood to write a ton.  Maybe I will recap those events later, but overall the experience was just great.  Stew on that for a while if you ever think of a trip, little costly, but totally worth it.  Speaking the language helps too :P  Off for now.  Keep on truckin... Except for the man known as Trucker... He should just stop trucking and just start walking...

It Came to Me in a Dream...

I wish I could say that the title had something cool to do with what I am actually about to write, but the truth is it really has jack shit to do with what I am about to write.

I just graduated college, and it really hadn't hit me until about yesterday when I got home and found myself playing video games for a good chunk of the day.  It kind of almost woke me up.  All I have to do is find a job... Its my #1 priority is what I was told.  It kind of dawned on me at this point that I don't have the time to do a whole lot, and if I want to avoid a constant drull I need to find a job that either isn't a constant work load, or to just not get a job at all.  This seems impossible, but then it dawned on me.  If I can find a job within something that I truly enjoy... It isn't really a job at all.  There is some hope for that with the degree I chose.  I did not really know what I wanted to be a part of until the end of my college career, like literally within the last 2 months of school.  Science and space are really and truly the loves of my life.  Guess its a good thing I chose a degree that can go into any line of work...

On a sidenote...  This means I am still going to workout hard and try to get to a point where I can go professional in soccer prior to getting everything situated with a job, or even during.  That would be the true way for me to be happy, and to bring happiness to others... and by that I mean the fans of my team... Fuck everybody else....  Except maybe people that I am friends with... And teams that are from where I like.... well... I guess there are a few exceptions.  I digress...  Soccer... Be about it... Love it... Do whatever I can to achieve it... And if for some reason I am not deemed worthy to play it at a professional level... Get the job in the department I enjoy.  Gotta enjoy what you are doing at work or your just going to waste away.  Provided you work 40-50 hours a week that is.

W/e I guess it just came down to the point that I realized that I really need to get on the workout wagon for soccer and to pursue it a little more seriously than I originally intended... That and I need to make sure if all else fails that I look for a job in something I enjoy.  I guess thats really all I have to say about that for now...

Gotta have a purpose... Without a purpose there is no point... Not truly living your life without a true purpose... Just kinda goin through the motions...

Guess thats it for now...

16 days till Japan...

..... Woof

Koledge.....

4 years have gone by so quickly, but at the same time not quick enough...  What all is left for me in college.  I have a thesis that is due tomorrow which is about 99% done currently.  After a few more minor adjustments the compilation of my entire college career will be turned in as a 20 page paper.  This kind of bums me out to a certain extent because college has been so much more to me than just knowledge that I have gained in the classroom.  As a matter of fact, I have probably learned more about myself outside of the classroom than in the classroom.  Despite the large variety of classes and subjects that I have participated in, which have all been pretty great, something inside of me has definitely grown.

Aside from growing about 4-5 inches in college I have internally and externally learned many things.
1. I am a furry loud and proud.
2. I don't really give a flying fuck what you think about me, cause no matter what you think I always know that your thoughts don't matter if I don't let them matter.
3. When I am drunk I see other people as furries... (lol)
4. I have a high tolerance for hard alcohol, but somehow am a lightweight for beer... (crazy mind)
5. I can kick a ball about 70-80 yards, which is more than the average NFL kicker and about the same as most professional soccer players.
6. Society has many faults that can piss you off, but you have to see the minor good to enjoy anything at all.
7. Find something that makes you happy and do it... Soccer will never leave me no matter what happens.
8. Women can be absolutely insane... Which is thusly why I haven't had a girlfriend in over 2 years.
9. Japan kicks ass... But could use some dairy products cause I feel awkward without milk everyday.
10. 漢字はとてもだめだと思います。(yes I hate Kanji... I am sorry :P)
11．外国に行く時四時間しかねます。たくさんをします。(Don't sleep in if your in a foreign country... make sure its memorable)

12.See left poster
13. Be grateful for those around you who at least try to understand you and love you, they are your greatest safeguard.
14. Past mistakes are for learning, so learn from them and get rid of them.







I am sure there is plenty more that I can put into this list, but at this time I cannot think of anything more, and unfortunately life is calling.  In a matter of 3 weeks my life is going to enter a new chapter, and with this new chapter is going to come serious reform in time scheduling and probably a full time job.

Never forget who you are, and don't let other people tell you that its wrong.  There is a 99% chance that they are just jealous or totally don't understand where you are coming from.

Straight from this furry's muzzle... Take care and check ya later.