What Lies Ahead

So after a full night of contemplation and wondering about the world my mind seemed to drift to one thing.  This was not about me, but rather a person I have grown to know as a friend.  He is shortly going to venture into a new chapter in his life to new challenges, new skill sets, and a whole new world... no pun intended...  After going where he has gone and seeing what can be, I feel like he is going to come back a totally changed individual.  In what ways I cannot say, but I feel as though he will more passionate in one way or another.  Of what I do not know, and by what degree I cannot say.  When I went to the place he is going I came back understanding myself better than I previously had, and also finding a new understanding and assurance of the people around me.  A new found confidence so to speak.  I guess it drifts to the fact that I am genuinely excited for this individual and wish I could see him off.   My only issue lies in that I am several states away, and will not get to see him off on the vast new chapter of his life.

It also got me thinking about my trip to Japan the coming months and that I still have to arrange lots of stuff to make sure it is all good to go when I arrive.  Moreover it made me think about what is going to happen this time and what fantastic and life changing things I will see or do this time.  After seeing last time that society can truly be as one and can move forward together as a single unit I was floored.  The animosity that I saw amongst them was nonexistent.  Everybody seemed to co-mingle and have no issue with helping anyone with anything.  Makes me wonder what would happen if the rest of the world could learn to do the same.  What could happen within society, and could we drift towards a true civilization with regard for our fellow person.  Anyways... What lies ahead in the next few months, past the trip, for me... for him... things that I will never know, but that I know will leave us both changed forever.  It leaves me thinking about the other individual going on the Japan trip with me as well.  The culture is something he knows, but how will the pure interaction change or for that matter will it change the person I know.  I am evermore eager to venture onward and to set my sights high for the future.  Not knowing what will come, but knowing that I will take it head on and give it the Onizuka effort.  If he stumbles upon this... I can just say... Good luck, be safe, but not too safe... Too safe and everything will pass you by.  Watch out for doors too... I hit my head on quite a few of them while I was there... It will wake you up in the morning, but not in a good way.

You know... Travis Rice once said,

"When it comes down to it - it's pretty simple:

Adventure is what you make it. Whether it's the travel, the discovery or just the feeling of letting go - the only way we'll ever find out is to get out there and do it!

Enjoy the ride!"

Great words...

So let go... See it all, and leave nothing untouched or unseen.

Out There....

So I have recently realized that I almost constantly stare at the moon when it is out for reasons that I do not quite understand.  Every time I do look up there I get a yearning and almost comforted feeling.  I am not sure if I realize that everybody that I know and love can look up and see the same thing, or the distinct feeling that one day I may be able to go out amongst the stars and see something as insane and amazing as the planet we live on.  I guess there really isn't a whole lot to this post but that.  Life is changing, people are leaving... a new chapter will be starting... and there is a whole lot of new to look forward to.  Being able to see my family more than 3 months out of the year is something that seems to fuel me onward.

Back to the moon, the constant feeling of insignificance that a person tends to feel just seems to go away for me when I stare blankly at this giant sphere in a place that is so unreachable at the current moment.  Its the final frontier... The last place to go and to see...  A fresh start.  I still feel that parts of my childhood tainted me in the eyes of many people and that I can never truly be pure for several things that I have done.  The hatred that I have felt and continue to feel.  The feelings that well up inside me sometimes make me truly wonder how my parents managed to make me the person I am today.  I feel that without them I would be behind bars.  A trigger finger of a temper and a tendency to establish dominance would have probably left me down a not so pretty path if not for my whole family.  They always stick by me and always will and I know it.  Despite the constant pestering I receive I know there is so much behind it that I may not fully understand but each day makes me stronger.  One day I may just burst out from this shell I seem to be and come forth as I really am.

The full fledged me is something that I really cannot show.  People would not understand how to deal with me as I perceive, but there are times and places where it shows.  Don't get me wrong I am not saying I am so extremely different that it would be something new to humanity, but people just would not understand.  I guess if things ever go to the manner that I feel that people will begin to understand the furry in me I will show more of it, but if not then who knows how things will go.  Ears held high and tail wagging always...

Till the future....