A Feeling of Loneliness

You ever get that feeling that your just utterly alone in a place that you don't want to be?  That there is no viable end in sight and it just leaves you in a state of depression... Or for that matter maybe its just the state of Wisconsin.  There is fucking nothing to do in this place past drink and go into a further depression I am convinced.  TBH... I think its more of a weather drull than a depression.  Just feels like theres no light in the world, because there is only about 10 minutes of cloudless skies a day unless its summer :P.  Don't take this wrong people from Wisconsin, but the lack of mountains here makes this place as dull as the million or so farms I see.  This last few months is going to be the roughest of my life I feel.

Its not like I have it bad out here.  I actually have it great and enjoy the random company, but the lack of stuff to do drives me insane.  After the first few months here I ran out of good ways to keep myself busy except for constant thinking about random whositswhats of science and other subjects, and playing video games constantly.  The constant lack of another to keep me company has also caused me great peril throughout my time here.  A lack of an opposing counterpart after my first two years has left me with serious emotional discord it would seem.  I constantly hit extreme highs and extreme lows only to level out on the fact that one day I will get out of here.  The only thing that remotely lets me feel like there something worth it is the family I have nearby and talking to family/friends on the internet.

Overall all I can say is just that this pit of loneliness I feel drives me to the edge every once in a while and without those that care for me I don't think I would be here today.  I guess the best part about me, is that when I hit the edge, I just go play soccer for hours on end.  Best times of my life has been when I have felt the worst and come to a super high from 6 straight hours of soccer.  But I digress...  Thanks to those who make life worth living...  Also,  crazy people be crazy, so watch out for them... Still wish I had counterpart furry out there to understand me without hardcore judgment though.  Everybody seems to throw that at me despite the fact that I would not be the one to dress up and go crazy like the minority of furries that do that.  Just gotta have a furry mentality, but that just seems to be impossible to come by.  People think that race causes issues... try something obscure that people just don't understand.

Pce for now.  Off to more yearning and the simple insanity that is life.

See you space cowboy...