Chaos

That just happened.... So deal with it...

On another note.  The world as we know it is a weird place.  People will recognize you for doing great things to help a company.  Despite all of it they still will not realize the true value of an employee.  Livin' the dream.

On a second other nother random note.  Its been a while.  I often find the time of the world goes by quite quickly now.  It leaves much to be desired but at the same time it tries to force me to cherish the here and the now.  Enjoy the company and the friends.  The things that should be... and the things that will never be.  That is really all I got for now.  I am sure something more will come shortly as I have a lot on my mind currently.

Keep your nose to the wind and follow what smells right.

The street of life

So recently I have been thinking while at my seemingly meaningful job about what my next step is in life.  I am overqualified for the job that I currently possess and it bugs me to no end.  So what do I do?  Logically I have updated my resume and started to peruse the world for a more suiting position to do my dealings.  This has proven not so fruitful, but has just begun.  This thought of job switching made me think about how people like to say life is a road and you make choices at forks in the road.  The more I think about it the more I realize this must be some screwed up road.  Thinking about a road that twists and turns in 3 dimensions with metaphorical forks that have choices approaching infinity.  Every step that you take causes you to hit yet another metaphorical fork and life is an endless choice that you eventually just do not care to make.  It is starting to bug me that society deems I should work until I am 70... Unless I can find something I love I don't think I will make work continue until 30.  The frustration with those people who just live there lives as though they have lost all meaning just bug me.  Constantly doing the same thing and never trying to improve upon yourself or your environment to make things better.  The drull of the average everyday worker doing nothing to better them self.  The only thing I can think about is making things more efficient or how can I make it so that some day I won't have to do this humdrum stuff and beat the system.

I guess that was more of a mindless rant about work and being overqualified while I watch the people of my workplace wither.  I guess what I really mean to say is I feel like I am at a standstill.  Life wants me to make a decision to move to the next point, and all I want to do is step off the path and tell normality to go fuck itself.  I am already past the point of normal.  I have a huge issue finding true emotion, I fake a good majority of what I think I would feel.  Few things can invoke a true emotion out of me, I just stand in the wake of people destroying themselves and logic about.  I am not sure when in my life I truly hit this point, but I have just hit that point where everything I do has to be logical if it does not invoke some emotion out of me.  Shit I have even hit the point where I question the purpose of a relationship of passing on who I am.  Then I realize... hey sex is great...  But no... really.... the only thing I think about sometimes is how I have yet to find somebody who would truly understand me for who I am.  I think that understanding would mean more to me than a lot else in this world.  I really don't care for money.  I want to be set in that I don't want money to be a worry in my life, but if I get to the point where money is something that is so abundant to me that I don't know what to do with it, I am seriously just going to give it away to my family and friends.  There is no point in me having more than I need.  Living luxurious to me almost seems like a total waste.  Get what I need, have enough in case there is a crisis, and give the rest to my family and friends so that they can be happy as I am.  A lot of people seem to think I am unhappy with the world.  Though I would love to implement several thousand things from my imagination into the world, this world is pretty good to me.  Im a talented individual.  I have a great family.  What few true friends I have, I would do anything in the world for.  I just don't know.  The one thing that seems to be missing is that relationship.  Though I hate it and despise the thought of having to dwell on the action of another judging me and dictating some parts of my life.  I miss that understanding...  As much as this may sound lame.  I believe I am hitting that point where I need that person to impart my pent feelings.  Those things that although I do not feel as many people do, they are there welled up and just waiting for that one person.  Just hope that when I find that person I don't fall for them so hard I lose the world around me.

Well this rant has gotten long enough and has several subjects that just needed to be put out there and probably have nothing to do with each other, so I will leave it where it is.  Thanks for reading and listening or whatever you are doing.

Stay furrsty my friends...

The Grind

So I recently got a job and have begun to understand what the daily grind truly is.  Although my job is early enough in the morning that I can have a life it is still quite amusing to jest at those around me who clearly have been doing this for too long.  Some of them realize it and others do not.  I feel that some of them are too bright to be doing what they are doing and for some reason are just content with what they do.  I feel as though this will be a stepping stone in my life towards a greater goal.  Meet some interesting people along the way and learn some life lessons, but in the long run I don't know if the corporate world will be for me.  I am a person that likes to develop standing relationships, and at work I do not know if past little conversations with my coworkers will stand as long term relationships.  I am looking for something that is more intertwined with the work I am doing.  Such as a controller.  Now it seems like it is just the act of working my way to that point so that work no longer feels like work.  There is not much else to add this thing that I call work.  Just living the dream and getting through life one step at a time. Gotta stalk what you love before you decide to pounce.  Find the job of prey and get it.  Just takes patience and determination.

So I saw a herd of buffalo running off a cliff...

So as of recently I have realized that I have sort of an elitist complex.  As to say I thrive to be the best at anything that I do due to competitive nature, but also I tend to get pissed at other people for not being nearly as good as I am, or if they are, for the stupid mistakes that they make.  I realize this is somewhat ridiculous, but I am constantly frustrated with mediocrity and frustrated with the idiocy that I constantly run into.  This tends to be more in the lines of video games than anything else, but idiots in the world find a true way to my rage box so to speak.

What could I possibly do about this?  Well there is a certain extent in some games where I can literally just destroy everybody and this complex does not plague me because I no longer need to rely on teammates in what is considered a "team" game so to speak.  League of Legends is one of these games, but I do have a set of individuals that can keep pace, its just the remainder that we get who cant seem to tell the difference between an ap and an ad character that make me go nuts... (lookin' at you ad brand)  Either way I guess this is more of a vent of frustration and a realization of something that I have already known for a while but didnt realize the exact way of puting it.

Im an elitist.  If you are a learner I do not shun you if you admit it... I try and help if anything.  But if your acting like a dumbass piece of shit.  Please proceed to the left and promptly get the fuck out of my life, cause I am sick of you and frankly could not give a damn what you have to say.  You are probably ignorant of all your mistakes and do nothing to fix them.  Also, if you see me doing something wrong or stupid, point it out.  I look at things very strategically and critically when I do things.  If you offer a judgement on something that I have done I will do a series of mental checks to see if what I did was wrong and either offer a rebuttal in a not so intelligent manner or I will take your criticism and run with it.  Once again, for all you fuckfaced pieces of shit... Door is on the left.

I guess this has really been sparked recently out of me for some reason.  I guess the impending release of the new counter-strike has really started to get me back into the drivers seat of the competitive car and I am almost flooring it in 5th.

Well I have drifted from my initial point of me being an elitist.  Not hard to see that I am competitive and this most likely sprang from that, but I guess what I am saying is.  Just be more than mediocre.  Be more than the average joe, and please don't follow the rest of the buffalo off the cliff, cause I promise you it isn't gonna be pretty when you go off the edge of the cliff with the rest of the morons of society.  Separate from the herd and join the pack.

This alpha is out and about, you omega better watch out, a man on a mission, don't dare think of a collision, cause I guarantee I will bust you up...

Howlin' at a Full Moon

So what do I find myself doing late at night?  Nothing in particular, as a matter of fact I am writing this blog as the time ticks by.  But why am I writing a late night blog, why should anybody care?  Well nobody should if they really don't want to cause if they don't care I don't care that they don't care...  But I digress.  Sleep always seems to evade me.  I never really care to sleep all that much.  Even when I find myself exhausted I find there are not enough hours in the day to be productive if I so desire to do so.  It always leaves me thinking that if there were places open late enough for me to be productive what I could and would do.  There are unfortunately not enough of these places, and by these places I do not mean bars.  I am talking about all night gyms or something of the sort.  This is just turning into rambling but I guess that is what most of my posts turn into.  I am not tired, I am really never tired.  I yawn I act tired, but its all an act of things I have really and truly been taught to do.  I should just accept the fact that I should set an alarm and allow myself 4 hours of sleep each night as forced and then move on with my life and become stupidly productive.  We will see what happens in the future, but this is more just spitballing than anything else.  Thoughts lemme know, if you think I am just an idiot go wild say what you want to its a free world.  Not sure if its insomnia paranoia or anything of that sort.  Who knows what is going on, just know that I am sick of half of this act.  Need more time to function and more things to do.  Guess the days are gonna start turning crazy and I am going to go balls to the wall with the whole get faster and get stronger thing so that I can get my best shot at professional soccer.  Until next time.  Keep that tail waggin'

P.S.  Looks like a full moon tonight, though I am not sure if it is.  Get that urge to howl now and again... Guess I am just that dang crazy :P

Aeria Gloris...

Sitting in my house, thinking of all those that cannot be doing the exact same.  I understand the purpose of real fires, but sometimes it just gets outa hand.  Seeing these 9-10 wildfires all over my home state and seeing these huge clouds is just frustrating.  Mother nature seems pissed.  For reasons beyond me she is retaking what is hers in a most ferocious manner.  Television was constantly on the news channel watching pictures and live footage of fires climbing mountains and burning homes.  Sit in awe.  Stroke my tail and wonder about life more and more.  There are many reasons I constantly occupy myself with menial tasks.  I know that when I do not it leads me to think about things that are so beyond most people that I just cannot talk to most of them about it at all.  What more can a person do.  Just live, tell my tail.... tale... and strive to surpass anything that anyone ever thought possible.

Google Colorado wildfires... go to images.... really... you will understand

Also constantly listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8q8rBnuULY0 currently.  Just such a badass opening song that makes me want to go do something extreme or breakthrough in something unimaginable.  Push the limits, live up to your potential, never become content, and just do what you love.  Straight from the muzzle...

P.S.  Go play the online game QWOP and make yourself feel stupid for a little bit...

A relatively furry feeling

Ears twitch... Heard something unusual.... Nose scrunches up... smells funny.

O wait!  That was because I was in Japan the last week and a half.  Good times... goooooood times.  Few issues while we were there, but overall a great time and a great atmosphere.  Really and truly a furry can feel at home in Japan.  Got a furry manga, saw some furry hentai, even ate an omelet with a furry on it.  Check one for the winning book for that trip.  What more was better.  Despite the arguments that we had once in a while, I got to go there with my brother.  Doesn't get much better than that.  I got a serious beef to pick with apple tho.  Gotta get your product right or some day something or someone is gonna bite you in the butt.

So my Japan trip took me to 3 places.  Fukuoka, Kyoto, and Tokyo.  Fukuoka was a new experience for me.  Much different than Kyoto and Tokyo, but overall it was a great place.  Saw some huge malls some good arcades, and met some old friends.  Even had a matrix moment while walking through Shibuya.  I really can't go into detail on things because it would probably take me several pages and I am not currently in the mood to write a ton.  Maybe I will recap those events later, but overall the experience was just great.  Stew on that for a while if you ever think of a trip, little costly, but totally worth it.  Speaking the language helps too :P  Off for now.  Keep on truckin... Except for the man known as Trucker... He should just stop trucking and just start walking...